Tag: ableism

actuallysafeforaspec:

feminismandhappiness:

thecatifex:

ellactra:

female-anti-sjw:

brosefvondudehomie:

perpetualcrossroads:

sxnctuaryy:

just-shower-thoughts:

It’s your parents’ fault for raising you that way, it’s your fault for staying that way.

What a neurotypical thing to say, Karen.

Well, neurotypical Karen is completely correct. You can change your behaviour.

Neurotypical Karen knows better than you.

Reblog every time

Neurotypical Karen sounds a lot better than Enabling Kaytlyn.

There are better ways to word this though… Nobody likes to hear it’s their “fault” they still have to deal with PTSD symptoms. Depressed people already feel it is their fault that they are as useless as they are. “yeah your parents neglected you or abused you or put you through violence and didn’t teach you anything valuable, but it is your own fault that you are not able to function normally” is a cruel thing to say… It is not useful… And in many cases it isn’t even true. It’s not about being an enabler, it’s about acknowledging that yeah it takes effort to get better, but it is not your “fault” that you are not well…

It’s your racist parents fault for raising you that way, it’s your fault for staying racist : Yes

It’s your parents fault for raising you with violence and neglect, it’s your fault for staying affected by it: Not true, bad post, unhelpful.

My fucking God

‘Enabling Kaytlyn’ sit on a cactus

Neurotypical Karen is your bog standard white girl from state who blows weed smoke in the face of people who have panic attacks

‘enabler kaytlyn’ is the artsy kid from a private institution that doesn’t know that much about lupis or the autism spectrum or w/e, but takes your word for what it is because she cares. and she has to go to work at ragstock now, lets meet up later for an iced fruit tea infusion

h-oney-b-ones:

“Narcissistic” is not interchageable with “abusive.” They are not the same thing. Do not conflate them.

Nowhere in the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists any mention that a narcissist will by default be abusive.

The nature and symptoms of NPD do not necessitate abuse.

Some disorders, NPD among them, may increase one’s likelihood of being toxic or abusive. That does not mean that such behaviour is unavoidable. A person can have NPD without being toxic, and without being an abuser.

“Narcissistic abuse” is not real. A person with NPD can be abusive, but that is not a special, specific kind of abuse, necessary to the disorder. It’s just abuse, carried out by someone also has NPD.

“Narcissist” does not mean abuser.

If your abuser happened to be a narcissist (or if you armchair-diagnosed them with NPD, something I’ve seen happen often, most commonly by people who know very little about the disorder) that does not make you an expert on NPD. It does not mean that every person with NPD is an abuser.

When someone with NPD tries to do research on how to cope with their disorder (including but not limited to behaving ethically and not being toxic or abusive) instead of finding real resources, what comes up is pages of pop psychology and people who conflate narcissism with abuse. When someone with NPD tries to seek professional help, they play a dangerous game, because the stigmatization of NPD (and other cluster b disorders) extends into the professional sphere. People with NPD who have traumatic pasts and/or comorbid disorders (NPD usually if not always develops as a survival mechanism to cope with a history of trauma/toxicity/abuse, and has a high comorbidity rate with disorders like depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other personality disorders) are especially heavily impacted.

This “narcissistic abuse” nonsense needs to stop.

atiredtrans:

fun-with-colors:

atiredtrans:

daisto:

atiredtrans:

atiredtrans:

hot take: hrt, gender therapy and trans surgeries should be free

if cis people don’t have to pay to have a body that doesn’t make them dysphoric, neither should trans people

So by that logic does that mean that I should get anti-depressants and all the other pills for my mental issues for free because the people who don’t suffer from them don’t have to pay to have them?

yes

And does that mean that corrective lenses should also be free, because people with good vision don’t need to pay to see clearly, and that devices to aid in mobility for people with limited mobility (from crutches to (practical) canes to wheelchairs to prosthetics) should also be free, because people who don’t have limited mobility don’t need to pay for them?

yes? why does everyone in the notes keep trying to come up with gotchas lmao everything to do with healthcare should be free

andreashettle:

mmmyoursquid:

seananmcguire:

mmmyoursquid:

chameleonchild:

eenymeenypia:

mmmyoursquid:

People love to talk about whether or not disabled people can work

but if you can work just fine and your disability is destroying your ability to have a life outside of work (because work takes all your energy and more)

Dead silence. Nobody cares.

File this under, oh you can be active for 4 hours? You can work part-time. Um no, I have to get ready for work (30 min) get to work (15 min) get home from work (15 min) feed myself all day (30 min) maintain myself, my home and my life (15 min, yeah right), which leaves 15 min for work and absolutely nothing else.

This is so accurate, back after I’d relapsed I wanted to try and go in for one class at school so I could still stay in contact with the education system. I let slip during a meeting that I managed to drag myself to that I could manage about 4 hours of activity a week, which the teacher sprang on to mean I was being lazy for just trying to get to 1 hour class. Never matter that it was 30 minutes travel, that I would have to get washed and dressed, that I would probably still need to recover for 3 days from it. 

Far too often abled people see the things they do easily as “non activities”, they don’t realise that for many disabled people these things have to be carefully planned and measured, and sometimes they simply can’t be done.

reblog bc the non activities thing seems really important words

I get X number of pain-free steps per day right now, which means that, for large conventions (like SDCC), I need to be in a mobility device.  I had someone ask if I used up my steps every day before transferring to the scooter, and look surprised and a little horrified when I said “no, I save them so I can go to the bathroom unassisted.”  Like, they had never considered that walking is involved in peeing.

!

Reblogging for the important point that the term “activity” may mean something very different and much broader for a disabled person with a chronic pain or fatigue related condition compared to its meaning for a non disabled person. If you’re tired enough, simply sitting up in a chair rather than lying in bed is an activity that drains energy otherwise usable for other things. A thing I knew from other people with pain and fatigue related conditions, but worth reinforcing for followers who didnt know or had forgotten.

iron-sunrise:

fumbledeegrumble:

twink-privilege:

bluedaggers:

socialjusticeichigo:

selectivelyserious:

urstraight:

for those who keep saying that aspec isn’t for autistic people

reblogging for reference

This is so disingenuous? I tried repeating the search because I was curious.

It’s coming up with results relating to autism because it’s not actually searching for ‘what is the aspectrum’.

It’s correcting to ‘what is the spectrum’.

Unsurprisingly none of the results of that search have the word ‘aspectrum’ in them. Because it isn’t even searching for that word.

So what happens when you correct it to search specifically for ‘what is the aspectrum’?

You get a whole lot of stuff that has nothing to do with either autism or ace/aro identities.

ignoring the op’s search results, op also said aspec. looking up aspec gives you something like this:

op why are u lying lol

@urstraight explain yourself

Because thats all they’re proficient at. Lying. Revisionist history.

Why I stand with Planned Parenthood

carafem:

sweaterkittensahoy:

Multiple gynos refused me an IUD because  “oh, it hurts so much to put in when you’ve had kids! We don’t want to put you in pain!!”

I was at a 7-9 on the pain scale regularly for my periods, and the docs were determined to make me run the gauntlet.

“But what about the pill?”

“Symptom-swap.”

“Have you thought about depo?”

“Mood drop.”

“And the patch?”

“Family history of breaking out in rashes.”

“Well, what about the nuva ring?”

“How will that NOT give me the same symptom-swap issues?”

“…”

“Look, I’m in pain so bad I wake up in the middle of the night. I’m in pain so bad I didn’t know I had appendecitis. I need SOMETHING.”

“Have you tried an ibuprofen protocol?”

“YES.”

“There are yoga poses that help with cramping.”

“I can’t uncurl from the ball of pain I’m in. How the hell am I supposed to hold position?”

“Well, how much caffeine do you drink? That could be a factor.”

“I have three cups of coffee a day and drink lots of water.”

And so on.

Then, one day, I made an appointment and went to Planned Parenthood.

“Yeah. Hi. I have incredibly painful periods that are fucking crippling me, and I need an IUD.”

“Okay. Do you have a chart of your periods I can look at?”

“Yup.”

“Okay. Looks like you have regular, heavy periods where the pain is worsening. Is that right?”

“Yup. And the fatigue. And the mood swings. And all of it.”

“Fatigue and mood swings, too?”

“Yup.”

“…is there any history of endometriosis in your family?”

“Yup. I’ve never been diagnosed, though. They say it takes a biopsy.”

“The biopsy can confirm tissue, but if you don’t have excess tissue, it doesn’t really help. You can have endo without excess tissue.”

“Okay. So, what are my options?”

“I suggest Mirena. Paraguard can make period symptoms worse even though it’s got no hormones while Mirena has a low-dose hormone that should help with all your pain and other issues. Here’s all the info on both of them. Here are models of both of them. Why don’t you take everything with you, read through it, then call if you have any questions? We can go ahead and schedule for insertion before you leave, and you can just call and say which type you want after you’ve read up. Is that okay?”

“…Yeah. That’s. That’s fine.”

“Do you have any questions right now?”

“Um, I got told a bunch I shouldn’t get an IUD because the insertion will hurt too much because I haven’t had kids.”

“Looking at the pain you’re usually in, I think you can handle it. It will definitely hurt, but it should only last about twenty seconds.”

“Twenty seconds?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been refused the best option for dealing with my symptoms because of TWENTY SECONDS?!”

“Sadly, we hear that a lot.”

Planned Parenthood treated me like a PERSON who was in pain, not a walking uterus bitching and moaning about womanly things. Planned Parenthood showed me respect and kindness and respected the knowledge I brought of my own medical history to the conversation. Planned Parenthood respected my autonomy where other doctors rarely had and paid attention when I explained why I felt the IUD was the best choice. Planned Parenthood showed me I mattered, and I want to show how much they matter to me.

^ the difference between a person’s symptoms being diminished versus believed.

thaxted:

piplup-commander:

I feel like the line between “fluffy uwu self care” and “get your shit together self care” is thinner than people seem to think. Like, sitting in a quiet space with a book and maybe some twinkly fairy lights gives me the spoons to go call my damn doctor like I’ve been meaning to. Bath bombs or shower steamers make me feel content and/or sparkly, which gives me confidence to go out in public. (Plus, I bathed.) I dye my hair funky colors so if I feel like people are staring at me I can say it’s at that instead of whatever my anxiety wants it to be. 

The two are not mutually exclusive, is what I’m getting at, and I never see that mentioned, just either “self care is being nice to yourself” or “self care is kicking yourself in the ass to function for a few hours”. Kick yourself in the ass with niceness.

KICK YOURSELF IN THE ASS WITH NICENESS