If you believe that ace, aro, and aspec people are “cishet”, unfollow me right now. You are not welcome here.
Edit: If someone is ace/aro/aspec and identifies themselves PERSONALLY as cishet and considers themselves cishet, then that’s fine since they chose to identify as that. But if you view ace/aro/aspec as inherently “cishet” until they seemingly ‘prove’ otherwise, that’s where I have an issue.
You can’t redefine what cishet means, asshole. An aro or ace person who is cis and straight is cishet and benefits from cishet privilege. I don’t give a shit whether or not they choose to use the label of Cishet.
“Cishet” was a word coined by trans people meant to describe someone who has full, unconditional access to straight privilege – that is, someone who is 100% perisex, cisgender, heterosexual, and heteroromantic.”
I am not redefining cishet. If someone is Aromantic or Asexual, they do NOT benefit from full straight cisgender privilege, seeing as though they are not Cis Heterosexual Heteromantic to begin with.
Not only this, but there aremultipleposts and blogs that actively provide sources and first-hand accounts that if someone is aspec they can, and do, face different kinds of oppression such as but not limited to: corrective rape, being seen as less than human, feeling “broken”, being seen as mentally ill or something being medically wrong with them for feeling this way, having partners acting as though the aspec individual is somehow denying the other their “right” to sex, being abused in multiple ways and manipulated to feel as though you’re being childish or selfish, others ignoring physical boundaries to try “fixing” you, and more. And in a society that seems to show sexual/romantic depictions as well as trying to play on people’s attraction towards those deemed “sexually appealing”, it can feel really awkward having to hear and see these things all the time. And yes, these things go for, you guessed it, the “CisHet” aspec individuals as well seeing as though these are ASPEC experiences.
While yes, if someone is cis they do benefit from being cis, and while being in some form of relationship with a different gender than oneself might appear to benefit the person from the view of outsiders since they’re then assumed to be straight, this does not negate the fact that many aspec individuals including myself face different pressures and issues that cisgender heterosexual heteromantic individuals DO NOT face based on their sexuality or romantic orientation. And if someone feels as though they’re cishet while also being aspec, then they can choose that for themselves if it feels right for them personally, but to force this upon everyone is just wrong since someone else cannot determine someone’s identity for them when it comes to incredibly personal labels such as these.
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And just in case you and others don’t feel like hovering over the links, they are as follows:
And for those that want a little more on what that “A” in LGBT+ stands for, here ya go
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With even the most basic of listening to what aspec people have experienced and felt, most anyone can tell that even “cishet” aspecs can and do face different pressures and problems that they wouldn’t have to face if they truly had all of that “CisHet” privilege that others claim that they have. And just because some people don’t experience the issues listed, it doesn’t take away how many others have experienced otherwise.
the real “ace” radar is being able to tell someone’s an exclusionist just by looking at 3 fandom posts they’ve reblogged and 1 personal text post
bonus points is seeing a completely benign text post on your dash, getting aphobe vibes from the source url, and getting immediate confirmation upon visiting the blog because their first post is mogai discourse
exclusionists: make aspec resources more rare and exclusive so young people dont accidentally id as ace
also exclusionists: im so fucking concerned about all those ace people out there having sex without sexual attraction, thats so toxic and damaging, why would they do such a thing
a list of exclusionists I have seen correctly define asexuality or aromantism:
come on we all know the definition is just what’s convenient for you in a given situation
i mean that’s your party trick not ours. you’re the ones pulling out falsities like “not interested in having sex” or that fucking incel shit.
those of us who know what we’re talking about consistently define asexual as ‘does not experience sexual attraction’ and aromantic as ‘does not experience romantic attraction’.
I’ll never get over how exclusionists define the lgbt community as “a group of ppl who banded together over their mutual sga experiences… oh and trans” like we’re just tacked on for literally no related reason lmfao
who wants to bet the next hot exclusionist take is “transphobia is just misdirected homophobia”
tbh you should be cashing in by now bc they’ve been doing that since forever
Thing’s the ace community has stolen: The letters “F” and “A”, the colour purple, all of the cake, dragons, the moon itself, unspecified resources (probably diamonds), the ability to wear a ring on your middle finger, every flag in the world, and your cat (probably).
– Mod Sap
I’ve seen all of these claims so many times that I honest to goodness thought for one horrible second that this post was serious
Aromantic person: “This person is my life partner. No its not a romantic relationship. I wouldnt mind raising kids with this person and having a joint account and buying a house. I still do not experience romantic love. Y’all got the life partner part right? From me? Who also has, y’know, best friends and regular friends and acquaintances and knows what the difference is? Here. I wrote it down for you. “Partner”. At least in my case. I can’t make it any clearer.”
tumbola: SO HAHA THATS JUST YOUR BEST FRIEND OK THATS JUST FRIENDSHIP RIGHT QPPS DON’T EXIST”