people out there straight up hate aspec ppl, and obviously acephobia cant be reclaimed as some sort of defense mechanism the same way i hate white people
so yeah its just violence, plain and simple
Tag: acephobia
Hii ! i have a few posts recs for u for you “ref” tag on FYA bc i feel like more ppl need to see these posts with good arguments and sources against why ace exclusion is bad : thefemaleofspecies(.)tumblr(.)com/post/177587211689/im-not-gonna-reblog-this-from-op-bc-they-run-an ;; queerleftists(.)tumblr(.)com/post/175657283804/ya-know-its-ironic-that-ace-exclusionists-are ;; actuallyasexual(.)tumblr(.)com/post/164640207126/i-get-frequent-asks-about-what-ace-discourse-is
“So-and-so identity I’m prejudiced against is gonna use up all the LGBT resources!” like this is fuckin Age of Empires II or some shit
Reblog if you can’t build any more castles or upgrade your longbowmen because some sneaky asexuals are camping on all the wood and stone
“Asexual people not wanting to have sex with their partner are abusive.”
V.S
“Asexual people who has sex with their partner is abusive because they do not have any sexual attraction”
FIGHT!
honestly… i know this has been beaten to death in the discourse, already, but…
do aphobes really think they’re fooling anyone when they say “if you’re lgbt and ace we still accept you! you’re valid! it’s just not your aceness that makes you lgbt!” like do they even… think it through? with all the shit that they then proceed to do?
like, one of the saddest things about this entire “discourse” to me, personally, is how violently unsafe much of the community here has been made to feel now for people like me, a trans bi ace, the very same people who exclusionists claim to be protecting.
because the majority of the discourse is so blatantly, horrendously hateful to asexuality and aromanticism as concepts, to aces and aros as people, and most don’t even try to hide it. oh, some will occasionally tack on an “oh but we only mean the cishets tho :))” after making a disgusting sweeping statement about asexuality, but most don’t even bother. why would they? we all know what they really mean.
if they don’t actually hate all aces, why would there be “aphobic (character)” and “(character)-hates-aces” urls cropping up at every turn? why would they proudly call themselves aphobes? if they actually gave a shit about lgbt aces, why would they constantly reply to anyone who disagrees with them, regardless of actual orientation/gender identity, by calling them cishet? why would they attack people just for posting ace/aro positivity? say all aces are homophobes or have internalized homophobia? try to take away word after word that aces use to describe their experiences for some bullshit reasons? tell people they’re disgusting for headcanoning a gay character as gay ace? instantly assume that “ace” in any context means “straight”? publicly attack, mock, and shame people for making harmless jokes about their aceness, for saying nice things about ace people, for mentioning their asexuality at all? call anyone who talks about discrimination they’ve experienced for being ace “homophobic” and “trivializing lgbt experiences”, even if the person themself is literally fucking lgbt? or for that matter, claim that bi ace people who speak out about the similarities between biphobia and aphobia are literally tokenizing their fucking selves?
like. even if they don’t believe asexuality is real, they have to realize that they’re hurting ace-identifying people who are also lgbt in a way that they actually accept as being lgbt, right? that they’re spreading fear, silencing people about an integral part of their identity, instilling self hate, keeping vulnerable lgbt people from accessing the spaces and community and support they need? that they’re literally bullying many, many lgbt people out of what should be safe spaces, along with the minority of ace and aro people who are also cis and heteroromantic/sexual?
well, maybe it doesn’t matter if they realize or not.
because this was never really about protecting lgbt people, not from the very beginning, and by this point, everyone knows it.
mad because you’re cishet aren’t you
i’m transgender and it says so in my blog descrip try again
im screaming
exclus what is wrong with yall
EXCUSE ME? w
you used to call us that because
you hated us.
all you saw was different,
so that was all you’d comment,
all you’d bellow and snarl and scream,
while we’d run as fast as our that-kind-of hearts
would let us.
and maybe there was
some kind of magical stuff
in the hateful vitriol you spouted;
because, as much as you would doubt it,
what with our that-kind-of bodies,
we could run.
and so we did, oh, we ran like hell
for our that-kind-of love and our that-kind-of selves.
and we talked too, we talked like we’d never shut up
until our love and ourselves were nothing but.
we aren’t that, we’re just like you!
a victory until you started saying that too –
sure, “too”. as if it wasn’t always you saying it.
yes, just when our work seemed to be nearing its end,
all of your thats came back in the guise of a friend.
we tried to accept you, because it’s what we do,
but you turned our hard work into alphabet soup;
we let you beside us, but you drew a line
using five letters
“ q u e e r ”
where four was just fine.
“ l g b t ”
here i sit
broken hearted
tried to poop
merely farted
i saw someone call this deep when it’s a one foot kiddie pool with dead bugs in it and warm water.
wait, but without the bugs, where dost one get the cr0nch
I love how it tries to trick you into thinking it’s meaningful with the deliberate spacing and the vague references, and then you’re like ‘wait, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read in my life’.
It’s genuinely so stupid I think I’d have to write an honest to god essay to untangle every bit of bullshit, from the pretense that queer is somehow opposed to the LGBTQ+ community, that ‘four letters is just fine’, the deliberate ignorance of the fact that most of our rights and fights were under the queer banner, the condescending as fuck ‘we let you beside us’ shit as if LGBTQ+ people being LGBTQ+ together was some act of grand benevolence on the part of exclusionary fuckwits instead of IN SPITE of people like the OP, and pretty near explicitly calling queer people straight oppressors and invaders.
There’s a lot to unpack here but I sure ain’t gonna be the one to open Pandora’s suitcase.
Also it’s just shitty, uninspired poetry that relies on spacing tricks and the like to try evoke any sense of pathos. Mediocre.
The “asexuality is inherently sexual” argument honestly makes me so uncomfortable as an Asian ace wlw. I live in a world where I’m already sexualized for being a woman, for being bi, and for being Asian. I don’t need to be sexualized for another part of my identity.
There’s nothing wrong with being sexual, but I am tired of people controlling my sexual narrative and agency based upon my identities.
the really amazing part of all this is a few years ago I was an ~~exclusionist~~ with bad arguments and bad opinions and I’m general just a bad attitude.
then I grew up and learned some compassion and empathy.
I fell into a trap. I thought if I espoused the same beliefs as people who hated asexuals, I would be One of the Good Ones and they would want me.
I was wrong.
how much self-loathing did I carry around because of this? how much of my experiences and feelings did I push aside because people on this website told me none of them were real? How much damage was done by having it harassed into me that none of the prejudice or problems I’d experienced for being asexual…. didn’t happen?
My first girlfriend rejected my asexuality with disgust. Told me I was wrong, took it as an insult, accused me of thinking she was ugly…. and yes. pressured me into sex I didn’t want. Over and over again. She made me feel guilty for being ace and then abused me for it.
And I spent years on this website not only being told none of this happened, or if it did it had nothing to do with my asexuality, but then repeating that ad nauseum. What does that do to a 18/19 year old recovering from an abusive relationship?
How much of my recovery was hindered by the acecourse tee-em?
the worst was probably the idea I internalized that I couldn’t be asexual and gay. Or that being ace made me basically straight.
Your discourse is poisonous to lgbt people. Your rhetoric harms victims of sexual violence. Your stupid petty arguing is hurting people and all you people care about is whether hypothetical cisgender hetroromantic asexuals should be allowed in hypothetical lgbt hangouts you probably don’t even go to anyway.
I’m sorry you went through all this, but I’m glad you’ve grown and healed ❤️
say it with me kids: children realizing theyre lesbian, gay, or bi at a young age is not comparable to children identifying as asexual, because lgb children’s attraction is not inherently sexual and it’s old-school homophobia to suggest otherwise
(from ‘sex is a funny word’, an acclaimed sex ed book for preteen children)
the language used to describe asexuality fits perfectly with the language children use to explore other identities.
we deserve answers from a young age. it’s straight up violence without it.
oh and also the “don’t force your sex-repulsed partner into sex uwu” posts can die. like forcing someone into sex, aka rape, is somehow worse for ace people than others. inclus stop being absolute clowns for a second challenge
How the fuck are you up in arms about something saying dont rape your partner??? Why do you see “hey dont abuse your sex repulsed partner” as an attack on people who arent ace, saying they arent as hurt by it? Maybe the problem here is how upset you get at “dont rape your ace partner”, not the people saying not to do that.
WHAT KIND OF CRACKHEAD CONCLUSION IS THAT LMAO I’M AN ACE SURVIVOR YOU IDIOT
it’s not like i was talking about the posts saying “being forced or pressured into sex can be really traumatizing for aces” which! of course, i’m not disagreeing with that! but it makes it sound like literal rape isn’t traumatizing or bad for non aces. if you learned how to read maybe you’d realize that instead of going “maybe……. you’re a secret rape apologist” like a fucking clown!
You’re the clown for taking “hey this affects someone” as it not affecting someone else or affecting them to a lower degree. Aces talking about something being traumatizing to them doesn’t mean it isnt traumatizing to someone else. Theres not a cap on how much trauma groups can deal with, dumbass.
If you actually read things instead of looking for shit to get pissy over you wouldn’t fucking sound like a rape apologist! What type of pathetic shit monster sees “hey dont rape your partner” as something with an ulterior motive because they were referring to aces???
Someone: hey dont do something terrible to x group
This fucking guy: OH SO WHAT YOURE SAYING IS ITS OKAY TO DO TO OTHERS NOT IN THAT GROUP? CLEARLY, BY ACKNOWLEDGING A PROBLEM YOU ARE PERSONALLY FACING YOU ARE SAYING ANYONE ELSE FACING ANYTHING SIMILAR ISNT IMPORTANT
this is the same rhetoric as someone saying “black lives matter” and then someone else going “all lives matter!! Not only black lives!!”
Like yes nobody should be forced into sex but the point here is that some people think that someone being sex repulsed is justification for coercing them into sex somehow. Like we’re talking about the problem as it is specific to sex repulsed people. That doesn’t mean the problem only occurs to sex repulsed people. There’s an implicit “also” in the statement.
whitemanning critical 