“I want aces to have their own community and work along side the LGBT” comes off as “I want aces to help me but I don’t want to help them.”
It also shows that they have NO idea what they are talking about cus that’s… litterally what the community is. Several smaller communities working alongside each other.
if you were lgbt and ace why would you… literally ever tell someone that. being bi, gay, or a lesbian is not about whether you have sex. that’s between you and your partner. your ‘sexuality’ isn’t about what you do with your body it’s moreso a relation to society anyway. learn your history
Translation: I don’t actually understand what asexuality means and I love double standards.
Tag yourself I’m the “LGBT” but not mentioning anything about trans people.
It kills me that this “discourse” continues to spread so much anti-questioning bullshit.
When people say that they, “used to id as ace but then realized that they were tricked into thinking that by the ace community,” they don’t just target asexuals. They target anyone who feels they’re not sure of their orientation.
The message here isn’t just, “look at the evil aces!!!” it’s also that it’s bad to have ever been wrong about your orientation. That being wrong about your orientation means you were tricked. That changing how you identify is wrong.
If “discourse” was really just “about the cishets”, we wouldn’t be seeing so much splash damage onto other people, and we wouldn’t see exclusionists completely disregarding and not caring about how they affect people who may not be aspec.
If your aroness or aceness stems from dysphoria, you’re a valid aro or ace.
If your aroness or aceness stems from past trauma, you’re a valid aro or ace.
If your aroness or aceness is an integral part of who you are as a person, you’re a valid aro or ace.
If you have no idea what your aroness or aceness comes from, you’re a valid aro or ace.
I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.
my “aro/aceness” did come from trauma and dysphoria and this mindset is what kept me from getting better and pursuing healthy relationships because i was told everything was perfectly fine with me and getting help was aphobic. then i did actually get help and listen to my therapist and low and behold that “aro/aceness” was a symptom not an orientation and, after getting better, straight up vanished.
if you think you’re aro, ace, or both because of factors like trauma and dysphoria, go get some help or at least try to heal before deciding to use the labels. and if you don’t know where it comes from, think about that.
no one becomes gay due to trauma or dysphoria, that doesn’t actually happen. if you think your orientation comes from those things, you need to reevaluate some stuff and get help. chances are if you actually are aro or ace, it had nothing to do with trauma or dysphoria. correlation is not causation and if your ace or aroness is caused by those factors, you need to get help. and, hey, if you’re still ace or aro after getting help, cool, that happens, but your personal issues would have nothing to do with that. if you’re like me and many others, however, and you realize you aren’t aro or ace, you were never either of those things to begin with and you were holding on to pain.
That’s not an appropriate rhetoric.
Neurodivergence isn’t some monster that represents all thats wrong and disgusting with humankind. It’s a word that describes what people are.
The a-spectrum has always had a close relationship with neurodiversity. And thats precisely because of people who discover their asexuality/aromanticism through exploration of their neurodivergence.
And you’re wrong – people actually do ‘become’ trans and non-straight due to trauma and neurodivergence. That’s a thing that happens. And we can frown all day and question their legitimacy, but that’s such a non-issue.
People question and re-question their sexuality all the time. Ace/aro people in particular are under extremely strict scrutiny. There’s many reasons why someone would drop their a-spec label, or perhaps pick up a slightly different one, and so on. You attributed it to forsaking your trauma. That’s your story. And yours alone.
Queer identities are spawned by neurodiversity all the time. It doesn’t suddenly become suspect because it’s ace/aro people in the picture.
huh its weird how as an lgbt asexual im not actually hurt by ‘aphobia’ in lgbt safe spaces… its almost as if the only people hurt and excluded by ‘aphobia’ are cishet aces and aros that shouldnt be in lgbt-only spaces to begin with
hey does anybody remember those posts that TWERF trans men and TWERF AFAB nonbinary lesbians would (and presumably still) make about how they didn’t feel oppressed by transphobia, but felt all their oppression came from being ‘female’? or at least they felt that being female caused them more grief than being trans?
trans TWERFS sucking up to cis TWERFS.
i’ve found those posts’ spiritual successor.
i could almost swear “it’s almost as if the only people hurt and excluded by ‘transphobia’ are males that shouldnt be in women-only spaces to begin with” is a sentence i actually recall reading at some point.
like. is there an echo in here?
well the main difference here is that TWERFS are violent transmisogynists who have institutionalized privilege over trans women, trying to deny these women from women’s spaces by falsely grouping them with men and putting their lives at risk.
whereas excluding cishets from lgbt spaces is lgbt people not wanting their literal oppressors in their safe spaces that they need because of these same oppressors. cishets are straight and cis, if their only form of sexual and/or romantic attraction is straight, sorry but youre straight. not feeling sexual or romantic attraction does not change that, and refusing to call themselves straight doesnt actually change the fact that they are or that they benefit from their social privilege of being cis and straight.
like i get that youre desperate to make your point seem to have validity but could you do it in a less insidious and disgusting way? and stop comparing violent transmisogynists to lgbt people not wanting to have their oppressors in their spaces? thanks
oh my god.
apparently a trans woman pointing it out when aphobes reuse argumentative and defamatory tactics used by TWERFs, it’s “insidious” and “disgusting”.
i can’t believe i just had to read a TME person rant to me about how i don’t understand transmisogyny.
i can’t believe this person just ranted to me about how violent TWERFs are, as if i as a trans woman was unaware.
i, as a trans woman who has faced violence from TWERF rhetoric, am outright declaring your movement to be similarly violent at its core.
remember when asexual minors were added to the list of identities cared for by a LGBT suicide hotline, because so many ace kids called in wanting to kill themselves because of their asexuality?
Now, considering aphobes are nothing like TWERFs, and would never encourage the suicide of minors-
and lets not pretend your movement doesn’t actively encourage physical violence against those on the ace spectrum. (x)
not to mention your movement actively rewrites the history of the LGBT community- aces have always been here, accepted in our community spaces since the start. they simply didn’t call themselves “asexual”. the terminology by which they referred themselves changed several times over the decades, but they have always been active members and contributors to the LGBT community.
decades ago, the most widely accepted definition of “bisexual” included those who did not experience any attraction whatsoever, and said individuals were simply said to be “bisexual” with no other label necessary.
here’s some first hand testimony from people who were active in the community during that time, and witnessed this. and might i remind you that personal testimony is accepted as solid evidence by virtually every court of law on this planet.(x)
aces do not carry straight privilege because they are not seen as being straight by cis heteronormative patriarchy.
your little social club on tumblr dot com are literally the only people in society who view aces as being straight- out there in the actual real world, aces are brutally raped by their straight oppressors in an attempt to make them no longer asexual. (x)
and your rhetoric supports dehumanizing them at every turn.
of course, acephobes, being the rape apologists you all are, silence any rape victim that points out the cause of their own assault to be their asexuality- and you insist you know the cause of the assault better than they do, or you insist the assault simply didn’t occur.
acephobes insist these rapes are the result of misogyny, because more women are being assaulted than men- which is also true of every other oppressed group who faces ‘curative’ rape. more trans women are assaulted than trans men, more disabled women assaulted than disabled men- not to mention that a number of aces who have been ‘curatively’ assaulted are men.
you lot also have a habit of calling these disturbing tales of rape “sob stories”. how on earth could you ever conflate yourselves to be a less violent group than TWERFs? suicide baiting? threats of physical violence? mocking victims of sexual assault? these are your calling cards.
and as for heteroromantic aces, just as a trans man or trans woman is capable of being straight in attraction, but still without fully accessing the privileges therein- so to are aces incapable of holding straight privilege.
this study found that out of all sexualities, study participants found asexuals to be the least human. asexuals were seen as both being most similar to animals, and most similar to machines. and i assure you that they did not hold any similar prejudice to actual straight people. (x)
the study also found that in settings of hiring and housing, discrimination against asexuals was equal to that of discrimination against gays and bisexuals.
“trying to deny these women from women’s spaces by falsely grouping them with men and putting their lives at risk.”
you mean the way that you deny a group oppressed for their sexuality from a community partially designed for those who are oppressed for their sexuality, by falsely grouping them with straights and putting their lives at risk?
you’re literally using the lives of my murdered sisters as a bludgeoning instrument to beat down a different oppressed group. acephobes have no shame, and no limit to the shit they’ll smear over people’s graves.
now can i see your sources to sociological studies proving your claim that aces hold straight privilege? i’ve been arguing with you violent bigots for months now, and nobody has ever provided me with one. they just tout the definition of straightness they made up as “proof”.
aces are incapable of holding straight privilege, and you are no different than TWERFs in your bigoted and disturbingly violent journey to paint an oppressed group to resemble your (as well as their own) oppressors.
never talk down to a trans woman about her own oppression again, you ugly transmisogynist. me pointing out a similarity between you and hate groups who have enacted violence against me is not “insidious”. you’re disgusting.
op deleted the post (if only they’d delete their whole blog but i digress) but as a ~lgbt~ ace I am hurt by aphobia in lgbt/queer spaces–it’s almost like you have a relatively bigotry free experience (or being a bigot yourself therefore avoiding being affected by the shit you are spouting on everyone else) is not universal!!
But please! Don’t let me stop you. Keep talking over all the experiences of everyone else that you are very very fucking aware of.
first of all, check out this (x)post first. it’s required reading.
when you want to indoctrinate someone into an ideology they find repulsive, the first thing you do is introduce them to the themes of that ideology but package it in a way that they’ll accept.
we’ll call the person being groomed to accept TERF ideology the “mark”. con man terminology seems fitting.
If you want to turn them against a group they currently want to protect (we’ll call this group A), then you need to first introduce them to all the arguments you’ll use to demonize group A in a setting where they’ll be open to accepting these arguments.
the easiest way to do this is to use these same arguments and tactics to demonize another group that your mark feels neutral/volatile toward, and we’ll call this group B.
keep the tactics the same, keep your means of propaganda the same- but pick an acceptable target. a target that won’t make your mark feel a defensive gut reaction like they would if you attacked group A off the bat.
as long as you convince your mark that your reasons for despising group B are valid, then if you play your cards right and indoctrinate them deeply enough into hating group B, they’ll be far more open to accepting your ideology when you say that group A is evil for the same reasons as group B.
this is propaganda, cult mentality, and scapegoating 101.
but the most important factor in this is making sure all of your arguments used against group B are nearly identical to those used against group A. You slowly get your mark to recognize these arguments as totally logical and valid reasons to despise a group of people, so that when you reveal that group A supposedly shares those traits with group B, your mark won’t be able to claim that your hatred of group A is wrong without also admitting their hatred of group B was also wrong. and at this point, your mark will be so deeply entrenched in a hatred for group B that their pride and anger won’t allow them to admit that their hatred isn’t grounded in logic.
they’ll declare group A to be their enemy sooner than they’ll swallow their pride and admit they were wrong to hate group B.
this is why TERF’s are almost exclusively ace exclusionists, and why there’s screenshots floating around of TERFs admitting that ace exclusionism helped them “realize” that TERF ideology was “right”.
“WORDS MEAN DIFFERENT THINGS WHEN YOU CHANGE THEM, SO IT DOESN’T MATTER IF ACE EXCLUSIONIST RHETORIC READS JUST LIKE TERF RHETORIC BUT WITH ‘TRANSGENDER’ SWITCHED WITH ‘ASEXUAL’!”
The fact that TERFs and acephobes used the same arguments couldn’t be more relevant, because you’re being groomed to accept these arguments as being logical so that you’ll be susceptible to recruitment when you see the same argumentative points coming from TERFs.
“All the studies claiming they face housing discrimination and sexual assault for their identity are fake, they’ve been debunked!”
“They only reason ANY LGBT organization acknowledges them is because they feel THREATENED by them!”
“They’re our oppressor, and any violence they face is only because society associates them with us! So it’s their own fault for having a fetish for pretending to be oppressed! What few assaults happen would stop if they just dropped the facade and admitted they’re privileged.”
“They’re ‘educaiting’ MINORS about their bullshit labels. They’re trying to get CHILDREN involved in their weird oppression fetish, am I the only one who finds that really predatory?”
“The fact they’re so obsessed with entering our spaces when we feel unsafe around them literally proves that they’re no different from any other member of our oppressor lmao”
if i hear “That peer-reviewed nation wide study was debunked in three paragraphs by a 16 yr old on tumblr! so those victims of oppression don’t actually exist” one more fucking time.
remember that time discourseprincesa, a cis girl, called for the deaths of a handful of specific trans women who’d pointed out these similarities while acephobes defended her doing so and cheered her on. yeah
someone reblog this with screenshots of one of the “Yeah, acephobia led me into radical feminism” incidents.
acephobes. you’re literally being desensitized to TERF talking points. trans women keep warning you, TERFs keep making ace exclusionist blogs to try and convert you. TERF methods are inherently wrong whether they’re used against trans women or asexuals, because these methods are literally designed specifically to discredit an oppressed group so that violence against them isn’t taken seriously.
little TERFs in training. TERFlets.
“someone reblog this with screenshots of one of the “Yeah, acephobia led me into radical feminism” incidents.“
You mean like this.
I’ve been asking for receipts on this for a while. Here’s one.
whitemanning critical 