He looks a lot like his father, except the coloring of his hair and eyes. Hence – despite being equal parts Anders and Fereldan – he looked enough of a foreigner to be nicknamed ‘the Anders’.
That nose that we all love and cherish? His giant-ass forehead that’s only getting bigger as he slowly loses his hair? Very typical of the Anderfels people. It’s only when he opens his mouth do you realize that he’s full Fereldan in spirit.
If Anders had our same language, he definitely wouldn’t identify as cisgender. Man just oozes nonbinary.
When he was a young child, he was prone to allergies and minor sicknesses. He was born premature, and his compromised immune system gave him some trouble. It wasn’t until his teenage years did he finally stop getting the flu every four months. And with the Joining and Justice both, he now rarely gets ill.
He has innie nipples.
Sometimes, Anders laments his receding youth. He’s getting old enough that a trip and fall could sprain a limb. Grey is beginning to dot his temple and stubble. Before Justice, he took great care to look handsome. Nowadays, he’s lucky if he shaves once and a while. And he can’t help but regret his lost looks, on occasion.
He cannot cook for the life of him. Craft poultices and ointments, boil ingredients into tinctures, he can do all that no problem. But for some reason, he cannot even stir together a stew without messing it up. He tries though, and with Hawke’s help he one day managed to make half-decent pancakes.
Anders actually has good teeth, for some reason. Back during the plate armor days of history, you pulled teeth when they hurt. And by adult years, you were lucky if you had only lost two or three. Anders? Never had to pull one. Even his wisdom teeth grew in straight and smooth.
Despite what some might think, Anders is pretty brazen and fearless. He’s not scared of heights, or the dark, or blood and gore, or by terrifying bears or dragons. Partially because of his underlying depression, partially because that’s the kind of brat he is.
The only thing that can truly frighten him is anything that triggers his memories of solitary confinement. And it’s hard to pinpoint what they might be – once, it was from waking up with his jacket thrown over his face from the night before. Or an unexpected stretch of silence in his clinic for whatever reason, making his heart jump and his head seize.
He’s never been that fond of candy or sweets. But if he had to choose, he’d say that candied almonds are his favorite.
If he took off his coats and feather pauldrons, you’d laugh your head off at how large his head is, in comparison to the rest of his body. It’s kinda always been like that. And he’s embarrassed.
Anders doesn’t bring a lot with him when he moves in. A small sheaf of various drafts of his manifesto (which quickly become scattered and lost throughout the house); an old, worn scarf repaired with the tight, steady stitches of a healer’s hands; and a pillow, beaten and well loved, with small flowers embroidered on both sides.
“It was my mother’s,” Anders explains of the latter when Hawke finally gives into the curiosity. “It’s the only thing of hers they let me keep in the Circle.”
“You took it with you when you escaped?” Hawke asks, surprised.
“It wasn’t easy.” Anders smiles faintly. “I had it stashed down the back of my robe for three days straight when I was planning. I wasn’t sure when I’d have the opening, you see.”
“It must mean a lot to you,” Hawke says.
“It does.”
(That night, Hawke has a Very Serious discussion with Dog. They know too well how the mabari likes to chew.)
Anders never goes to bed without it. Which isn’t to say that he never sleeps without it, of course – it’s far, far from uncommon to see the mage sprawled out over the desk or the couch, glowing faintly as he drowses. But on the nights when Hawke can coax the mage into bed properly, it’s never without the pillow in his arms, and Hawke’s even offered it a few times to help him relax when Anders is in his more agitated moods.
Which is why Hawke worries when Anders tries to give it to Varric. “I don’t need it anymore,” Anders explains when Hawke asks, and no matter how Hawke tries he will say nothing more of it.
They leave it behind when they flee the city. It’s among the least of what they’ve lost, Hawke knows. And there is much, much more disturbing the healer’s sleep than the loss of a pillow. But Anders curls around his pack in his sleep like he’s trying to fill the gap and Hawke, already raw and worried, feels their chest tighten at it.
There’s a package with Varric’s second letter, a courier rather than the usual messenger bird surprising them on their way to Ostwick. Hawke understands before Anders even tears away the wrapping, but they both can only stare at the item in his hands.
“I expected him to be angrier,” Anders finally manages.
“He probably is,” Hawke says carefully. “That doesn’t mean he’s not still your friend.”
It’s a somewhat bulkier addition to their bedrolls, Hawke supposes. But that night, Anders sleeps peacefully for the first time in months, arms wrapped over carefully embroidered flowers.
(submitted by The Handers Fairy)
Aaaa, this is so beautiful!! I want to adopt it as a headcanon, omg.
hey just a reminder that the handers rivalmance is actually just manipulating and abusing a trauma survivor who is dependent on you, and getting away with it because the devs admitted they think it’s a “good” romance path to take with anders, which is absolutely disgusting and i’m not going to ever let it slide that the bioware writers thought this was appropriate or okay to do to a canon mentally ill character
it also feeds into the very-real problem of how mentally ill folks and abuse survivors are more likely to wind up in abusive relationships, and the fact that they present it without any hint at how grossly problematic it is horrible. and beyond that it perpetuates to survivors that those are the only kinds of relationships that they’ll wind up in which is also super gross like seriously wtf devs
I love anders fans.. not just because i love anders too, but because anders fans get so excited over their fluffy bird apostate and when I post art of him I get tags like:
everyone ingame: *dismisses anders when he speaks up about trauma, makes valid points, and tries to explain himself, treating him like a joke and shutting him down over something he’s passionate about because of a lifetime of abuse, complete with little to no supportive dialogue choices aside from condescending bullshit or mocking him for never “shutting up” about his own experiences that the game forces you to choose for some godforsaken reason*
whitemanning critical 