This self-help book on Amazon offers a horrifically aphobic rhetoric of how to ‘survive’ when you’re ‘trapped’ in a relationship with an aspec person. It’s clear that the author doesn’t understand asexuality at all.
It’s not abusive to not want sex with your partner, and it’s certainly abusive to warp the entire relationship around this perceived flaw of theirs.
– Fae
But the straights love us aceys, right? But aphobia isn’t real, right? We’re all just making it up though, right?!!
i honestly dont know of any blogs that specialize in sex ed for aces specifically. ive only written my own posts in the form of my ‘asexual sex ed’ tag.
Ace and aro headcanons are great and I’m gonna sit here having all the ace/aro/aro ace headcanons for characters of color
And if I had time I’d write a thing with a nd black aro ace protagonist (she’d probably be a princess and almost definitely have a dragon and there’d without a doubt be like a hundred ppl personally dedicated to protecting her) and it would be great
@herefortheace I have a black Asian (being vague because it’s a fantasy world and his country is a bit of a mix of different Asian cultures) ND masc nb aroace protagonist! They can be friends. And if you have a design idea, tell me and I can try and draw her up for ya.
Can my brown ace protagonist join this friend group? She’s got a little dragon companion (because of course), too. Her design is still undergoing some revisions.
okay I saw these responses way late bc I’m a mess – sorry asdhfkds – but omg!!!!
This makes me so happy
@yaocsupport and thank you so much for the offer to draw, if it’s still on if I ever have a more concrete idea of her appearance I’d come back to it? so sorry I think I completely failed to see this/respond originally asdhfks
The offer is always on! I love drawing anyway so if you ever have a solid idea then please let me know!
<3<3<3
can my black aromantic bi vampire hunter join the group?
Yess!!
I’ve got a family of aspecs – one day, a brilliant trans man Asian scientist cloned himself and delivered three offspring, who all turned out neurodivergent, disabled, aspec, and trans. like him.
of course, the public was outraged; by cloning himself, he ‘must’ have passed on these ‘defects’ to his heathen spawn through unnatural means! how could he?!
my family exists as embodiments of ‘flaws’. Asian, sick, and ‘sexless’. so why did he do it in the first place? well, because he wanted children, and was a little kooky about the way he did it because hes a weird science nerd.
he loves his children, and they love him! the oldest is entering demon hunting school! he’s so proud of them
The “asexuality is inherently sexual” argument honestly makes me so uncomfortable as an Asian ace wlw. I live in a world where I’m already sexualized for being a woman, for being bi, and for being Asian. I don’t need to be sexualized for another part of my identity.
There’s nothing wrong with being sexual, but I am tired of people controlling my sexual narrative and agency based upon my identities.
the really amazing part of all this is a few years ago I was an ~~exclusionist~~ with bad arguments and bad opinions and I’m general just a bad attitude.
then I grew up and learned some compassion and empathy.
I fell into a trap. I thought if I espoused the same beliefs as people who hated asexuals, I would be One of the Good Ones and they would want me.
I was wrong.
how much self-loathing did I carry around because of this? how much of my experiences and feelings did I push aside because people on this website told me none of them were real? How much damage was done by having it harassed into me that none of the prejudice or problems I’d experienced for being asexual…. didn’t happen?
My first girlfriend rejected my asexuality with disgust. Told me I was wrong, took it as an insult, accused me of thinking she was ugly…. and yes. pressured me into sex I didn’t want. Over and over again. She made me feel guilty for being ace and then abused me for it.
And I spent years on this website not only being told none of this happened, or if it did it had nothing to do with my asexuality, but then repeating that ad nauseum. What does that do to a 18/19 year old recovering from an abusive relationship?
How much of my recovery was hindered by the acecourse tee-em?
the worst was probably the idea I internalized that I couldn’t be asexual and gay. Or that being ace made me basically straight.
Your discourse is poisonous to lgbt people. Your rhetoric harms victims of sexual violence. Your stupid petty arguing is hurting people and all you people care about is whether hypothetical cisgender hetroromantic asexuals should be allowed in hypothetical lgbt hangouts you probably don’t even go to anyway.
I’m sorry you went through all this, but I’m glad you’ve grown and healed ❤️
Holy shit. Holy fuck. I got my little sister the book “sex is a funny word” because she’s at that age where she’s reading a lot of puberty books and I’d heard that this one was lgbtq+ friendly, but I was checking it over for accuracy and I gotta say, even with the totally gender neutral language they were using to talk about body parts and the really respectful way they talk about gender and their portrayals of same sex couples I was so fucking sure that I would have to mention that not everyone gets crushes or feels attraction separately. Because these books never talk about that. But here it is. The one thing I was so absolutely sure wouldn’t be included.
I honest to god dropped the book when I saw this I was so shocked. And I’m so fucking happy right now. I can’t exspress how much I wish this was mentioned in the books I read when I was a kid. It would have saved me so much confusion, and I’m so happy that kids today are gonna read this and know that it’s okay and normal to not get curses. I’m so so fucking happy you have no idea.
whitemanning critical 