Fact #586: If you’ve ever been called a “transtrender”, congratulations, you are lovely. Your gender and your transness are real. You are valid. The fact that some asshole was so threatened by your existence that they felt they needed to beat down on you in order to feel good about themselves tells you all about them and nothing about you. You’re allowed to continue existing as yourself. You don’t need some gatekeeper’s permission to be you.
But you need to experience dysphoria to be trans.
Um, no.
Being a trans dude, let me say that since I was raised as a girl, I was taught that everything I was feeling or experiencing was just ‘female hysteria’. That it was fake and I just needed to learn to love my body.
Doctors told me this when I came in for appointments, struggling to find the words to explain why I felt so wrong. Nurses told me this. My parents told me this. My therapists told me this.
That I was just fine, and all urges to want to crawl out of my own skin or to stop existing entirely was just me having ‘hormonal spikes’ or being ‘depressed’.
As it was, I did not realize I was trans until my late twenties, and I had no idea what I was experiencing was dysphoria because my symptoms were frequently dismissed by trusted doctors or diagnosed as a ‘’behavior problem”.
Now this is just my experience being raised as a girl, but I have no doubt whatsoever that trans women have had upbringings that made them question if what they were experiencing was dysphoria, or just them being labeled as “messed up”, or even “hypochondriac”, etc, by family, doctors and peers.
It’s honestly cruel to question someone’s validity as trans for not having dysphoria, especially because you are entirely alone in finding out whether or not you have it. No doctor in my life has ever read through my medical history and noticed any trends and told me accurately what was going on with me.
Because doctors actually don’t know. Tumblr doesn’t know either. YOU know. You are the only one who can know, because it concerns your body. It’s hard and it hurts like hell to figure this all out by yourself, and unfortunately in our current craptastic healthcare system? It’s yourself that you have to almost entirely rely on. And being called crazy at every turn by the people who are hired to help you sure as shit doesn’t help matters.
You are strong as hell and you amaze me.
Likewise, if you know you aren’t your assigned gender and you don’t have dysphoria?
You are lucky and also amazing and still entirely valid and I’m so happy for you. Because I sure as fuck don’t wish dysphoria on anybody.
The idea that trans people have to experience dysphoria comes from cis people insisting that trans people must hate themselves to be valid. It’s just another set of hoops cis people want us to jump through. They feel that we have to hate ourselves for being different. And we really don’t.
There is such thing as gender euphoria. It means you feel fucking great when you’re validated as your gender or even if you validate yourself as your gender whether through dress or going “I am [gender]”.
Neither are mutually exclusive, but some people feel apathetic to their assigned sex, not hating it or anything, just they could don’t mind it, but when they get called certain pronouns they suddenly go “That feels good, that feels right.”
It’s okay to experience gender euphoria without gender dysphoria. It’s just another side of the vortex that is being trans.
been on T for two years
never experienced any dysphoria or euphoria
i just knew it was something i’ll eventually do, and i decided to start sooner rather than later
Starting yesterday, Illinois has become the second state in the country to ban the “gay panic defense,” in which murderers can justify violence by citing their shock at learning a victim was LGBTQ.
The tactic is often used by those who hurt their gay or transgender partners or love interests, or by those who lash out violently against a person who expresses interest in them. According to the AP, “There are variations, but it generally goes like this: A person doesn’t realize someone is gay or transgender and engages in a flirtation, then discovers that person’s sexual orientation [or gender identity] and that discovery triggers a passionate involuntary response such as murder.”
Activists for LGBTQ rights often point to the 1998 case of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old college student who was beaten to death by two men, one of whom claimed the victim had made sexual advances toward him.
The activists say they hope the law, which was approved by Illinois lawmakers in May and signed by Gov. Bruce Rauner in August, will provide momentum toward passing similar measures in other states.
“This new law ensures LGBTQ people are not blamed for the violence perpetrated against them simply because of who they are,” Brian C. Johnson, CEO of Equality Illinois, said in a statement shortly after Rauner signed the law.
California is the only other state where this is illegal, and the American Bar Association called for it to be banned several years ago. Here’s hoping Illinois sparks a movement of similar laws around the country.
I’m horrified that this “Gay Panic” bullshit was ever allowed to be used in any court in the first place
FYI: this does NOT ban the Trans Panic defense. it was specifically amended such that it would still be ok to kill someone after finding out they were transgender. as originally introduced it banned both defenses, but someone was like “no, it should still be OK to kill trans people” and this was approved by the assembly. so this is not a victory for “LGBTQ” people, it’s a victory for LG people and a disgusting, horrifying affirmation of the state’s visceral, murderous hatred of trans people.
Hey I think we maybe need a word for a specific type of popular rhetoric.
The essence of this rhetoric, either explicit or implicit, is that all people can be split into one of two categories – men and women.
This rhetoric looked at TERF rhetoric, went “Nah, trans men are men and trans women are women, but the rest of this is good, yes.”
This rhetoric manifests in things like:
– everyone is perceived either as male or female, so that’s the “class” they belong to.
– you can identify as whatever you want, but MATERIALLY, you’re one or the other.
– you don’t have to be a woman to identify as a lesbian/sapphic. Anyone who isn’t a man is welcome in women’s spaces. But if you have even a tiny bit of identification with maleness or masculinity ever, you can’t use that ID or be in those spaces.
– If you express that you now have nowhere to go because spaces for people hurt by patriarchy have all shut you out, you may be told to just get off Tumblr because the rest of the world will stroke your masculine ego.
– you’re either “one of us”, a non-man who comfortably occupies spaces built by women and for women, or you’re not, and then you’re a problem/dangerous/toxic/a threat/privileged.
– if you’re the former category, you should be comfortable with occupying spaces and words intended for women. Femme, feminine, sapphic, feminism, woman-aligned etc should all comfortably apply to you. If you point out that you don’t like them being used as categories for you, you’re being too difficult. “non-men” isnt good because it categorizes people by what they’re not; so “woman and femmes” or “women and women-aligned” and so on will work fine.
– all queerness is about being same (or “similar”) gender attracted. If you’re not SGA, you’re straight.
– maybe it doesn’t say “men” and “women”. Maybe it says “masc” and “fem”. Maybe it says “male-aligned” and “woman-aligned”. Maybe it says “masculinity” and “femininity”. Maybe it talks about your “presentation” or how you “move through the world” or how you’re “perceived by others” – those are all acceptable ways to class you as one of the two categories.
When put forth by an individual, this rhetoric may not incorporate ALL of these ideas, but it will still fundamentally see “us” and “them” as the most efficient gender categories.
This rhetoric MIGHT understand the existence of non-binary people, but it does believe (either explicitly or implicitly/subconsciously) that the world has two categories of gender: “privileged threat” and “oppressed victim”. “Predator” and “prey”. In order to participate in their spaces and their discourse, you must accept that you are one of the two.
I’d like to name this way of thinking in order to make it easier to point out. It is popular and mainstream on this website, and it is even practiced by many nonbinary people, but it is anti-nonbinary.
Hey we did it, how’s “Gender Reductionist”
For all the people saying “isn’t that just exorsexism”: yes. It’s exorsexism in the same way that TERF ideology is “just transphobia”.
It’s a specific brand, a specific set of beliefs, and it’s much easier to point out and to combat when you understand that all these strands are part of one specific bad attitude.
theres this awkward disconnect when well meaning whites use genders from other cultures as an argument for respecting nonbinary ppl.
like if you are saying “other cultures have these 3rd genders so thats evidence nonbinary is real thing” that doesnt really work because those genders arent nonbinary, they exist out of the context of the western gender binary, theyre part of a different system of genders. cant be nonbinary if theres no binary to begin with.
but if you are using this as an argument for “the gender binary is a western construct thats been pushed on other cultures and also is completely arbitrary and thats why you should respect nonbinary people” then THAT is a prfectly sound arugment..
THANK YOU it’s so fucking difficult to get this through people’s heads.
People on here don’t seem to understand that shit doesn’t just become perfect instantly.
You attack literally any progress, even if it’s some of the best representation and diversity we’ve seen from that particular type of media just because it’s not perfect without realizing that this is literally how we progress to that ideal you have in your head.
Media relating to minorities is never just going to pop into being with 100% perfect representation and diversity. Especially since everyone’s idea of what that perfect representation and diversity looks like is different.
The only thing shitting all over progress does is discourage creators from even trying to work towards that ideal.
Cool, rallying people to actively throw people of color under the bus because you’re getting a lot of progress on non-binary representation is racist. End of story.
Er. Did they say how many characters of color there was going to be? Because I thought this whole argument was about their nb representation…
I dunno about other people, but I’ve been saying it, and it should be said before it’s too late to have the necessary influence. I know others have mentioned body size, as well, because the initial batch left much to be desired. I would want them to be cognizant of disabled folks, as well.
Their official statement said “more than half” will be people of color, but that phrasing doesn’t inspire hope. 100% is more than half, but they definitely didn’t aim for that… 😛 I’m assuming they’re like normal white people and “about half” is perfect diversity! Yay! It’s more than anyone’s ever done! Wow! lol
I’m tired of “people of color” being labeled a singular group so that 50% white people and 50% people of color equals parity.
I think in their statement they said that there would be diversity in body type too but I might be misremembering.
Doesn’t more than half mean that there will be less white people than PoC…? I’m not really understanding why that would be a bad thing?
I’m too tired to fight white people on this. At the end of the day, if white people are still choosing to make content wherein white people have the biggest piece of the pie without realizing they are a singular fucking race and there are a fuckton of other races, it’s pointless.
I am aware they may do right by this, but they also chose to start by revealing 6 white people. Will any other race have 2 sets dedicated to them?
Off the bat, I know that there literally is not enough room to include Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, Hmong, Thai, Korean, Cambodian, Laotian, and Samoan people. Our races regularly get to be sacrificed in the name of progress. And I would gladly sacrifice Japanese representation for the chance for someone else to get representation who never does.
So you think that instead of having a variety of races for the characters of color it would be better if they stuck with one race?
it would be better if they presented the audience with a teaser image that showed more than one skintone, for starters. that would show us they at least had some political dignity
here’s the thing w/e me; the people criticizing this office orgy are very white. i see it. and if they list ‘little poc’ as one of their beef? im very unimpressed.
but i do not appreciate white supporters of this rightfully-rare trans rep gem ‘calling out’ people being critical and justifiably tired of whiteness saturating lgbt+ media. a mere 50% of a cast being of color is not ‘good’, it’s less than minimum no matter you look at it through lens of real-life demographic stats, or through artistic merit. so when they say ‘more than half’, thats not promising.
like what kind of question is that ur asking. its so intrusive and obtuse. do you not have the comprehension of what racial representation means to us, and what exactly we’re satisfied with? ‘so do you think itd be better if i take your written reply and turn it into a strawman’
are you a creator? do you work in the media arts? criticism is 99% useless in small doses. having lots of people respond strongly is a great way to know what they care about. a professional creator’s first lesson in the field is to respond to audience attention graciously. you don’t have to defend the integrity of this chicago dev team like an anti-sjw
I’m… super confused about why I’m being attacked here when all I was doing was trying to better understand what
christopherokamoto was trying to convey to me? I literally just didn’t understand and was trying to gather more information.
fine – its 1am here, but im willing to bet that you’re ernest in your willingness to learn.
1) 50% people of color in a cast isn’t ‘good’ at all. it’s a number that means ‘regular people, and everyone else.’ a statement that claims a mere ‘more than half’ is, for all we know, the aforementioned statement plus one. and thats unnacceptable
2) especially considering that these characters are apparently humanized office supplies, race plays a very specific point. being nonbinary while of color is a unique struggle that is rarely heard. making characters with nonhuman backgrounds – whether they’re humanized sentient objects or a mystical fantasy race – we need to fight for these creators to include people of color. otherwise, you’ll end up with blue skinned women and sexy drell. fighting is how we got these things.
3) sure, its early in the development, but thats an excellent time to start the hollering. when dream daddy’s sneak peak came out, your character was shoehorned in being married to a woman, and there were no binder options in the creator menu. people made a fuss about it, and lo and behold! this stuff is important.
4) and if this dev team lose all their creative mojo because of bloggers talking about their experience being nonbinary of color? if they swear off the office type forever and quit their job of being video game devs to take up animal welfare? at that point, we’d be gaining something rather than losing it. we people of color have been at the forefront of modern lgbt+ politics, hell we’ve been on this fucking earth longer than you have. we deserve more than babysteps that get fussy if their first attempt wasn’t received well by their intended audience. im still here, for example, i could go on and get hired by an indie dev team and be part of the next Tumblr Discourse Bby, and therefore all your white paychecks get paid to brown hands, as they should
this is why i dont like fucking around with yt queers anymore, there’s so much we have in common until we remember that the world doesnt end when white people exit the room
People on here don’t seem to understand that shit doesn’t just become perfect instantly.
You attack literally any progress, even if it’s some of the best representation and diversity we’ve seen from that particular type of media just because it’s not perfect without realizing that this is literally how we progress to that ideal you have in your head.
Media relating to minorities is never just going to pop into being with 100% perfect representation and diversity. Especially since everyone’s idea of what that perfect representation and diversity looks like is different.
The only thing shitting all over progress does is discourage creators from even trying to work towards that ideal.
Cool, rallying people to actively throw people of color under the bus because you’re getting a lot of progress on non-binary representation is racist. End of story.
Er. Did they say how many characters of color there was going to be? Because I thought this whole argument was about their nb representation…
I dunno about other people, but I’ve been saying it, and it should be said before it’s too late to have the necessary influence. I know others have mentioned body size, as well, because the initial batch left much to be desired. I would want them to be cognizant of disabled folks, as well.
Their official statement said “more than half” will be people of color, but that phrasing doesn’t inspire hope. 100% is more than half, but they definitely didn’t aim for that… 😛 I’m assuming they’re like normal white people and “about half” is perfect diversity! Yay! It’s more than anyone’s ever done! Wow! lol
I’m tired of “people of color” being labeled a singular group so that 50% white people and 50% people of color equals parity.
I think in their statement they said that there would be diversity in body type too but I might be misremembering.
Doesn’t more than half mean that there will be less white people than PoC…? I’m not really understanding why that would be a bad thing?
I’m too tired to fight white people on this. At the end of the day, if white people are still choosing to make content wherein white people have the biggest piece of the pie without realizing they are a singular fucking race and there are a fuckton of other races, it’s pointless.
I am aware they may do right by this, but they also chose to start by revealing 6 white people. Will any other race have 2 sets dedicated to them?
Off the bat, I know that there literally is not enough room to include Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, Hmong, Thai, Korean, Cambodian, Laotian, and Samoan people. Our races regularly get to be sacrificed in the name of progress. And I would gladly sacrifice Japanese representation for the chance for someone else to get representation who never does.
So you think that instead of having a variety of races for the characters of color it would be better if they stuck with one race?
it would be better if they presented the audience with a teaser image that showed more than one skintone, for starters. that would show us they at least had some political dignity
here’s the thing w/e me; the people criticizing this office orgy are very white. i see it. and if they list ‘little poc’ as one of their beef? im very unimpressed.
but i do not appreciate white supporters of this rightfully-rare trans rep gem ‘calling out’ people being critical and justifiably tired of whiteness saturating lgbt+ media. a mere 50% of a cast being of color is not ‘good’, it’s less than minimum no matter you look at it through lens of real-life demographic stats, or through artistic merit. so when they say ‘more than half’, thats not promising.
like what kind of question is that ur asking. its so intrusive and obtuse. do you not have the comprehension of what racial representation means to us, and what exactly we’re satisfied with? ‘so do you think itd be better if i take your written reply and turn it into a strawman’
are you a creator? do you work in the media arts? criticism is 99% useless in small doses. having lots of people respond strongly is a great way to know what they care about. a professional creator’s first lesson in the field is to respond to audience attention graciously. you don’t have to defend the integrity of this chicago dev team like an anti-sjw
anyway i hate how tumblr is now only focusing on wlw and mlm
so to NB people with queer attractions:
i love you
you are not “basically straight”
you are awesome
you don’t have to fit into a binary box for your attractions to be queer and valid
it’s ok if you’re still learning to love yourself because it’s hard
regardless of your appearance you are valid and your attractions and how you label them are valid
stay hydrated as best you can
regardless of whether you lean masc, femme, in between, whatever other direction you want, or don’t have a direction at all, you are valid and your attractions and how you label them are valid
i hope you find money on the sidewalk and your favorite candy is on sale
i hope you get to pet a cute dog next time you go out
i’ll fight anyone who gives you shit
like this post is good and what not but do you gotta call nb people queer cant you just say sga or gay
whitemanning critical 