Whenever I read Thranduil and Bard attend a political meeting with the dwarfs, this is what I think off. Because, let´s be honest we all witnessed Thranduils attempts at flirting.
*company of dwarves arrives unexpectedly at Bag End*
Book!Bilbo: Oh my goodness! Do come in, have a cup of tea.
Movie!Bilbo: I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING DWARVES IN MY MOTHERFUCKING PANTRY.
But have you considered: Thorin might be nearsighted?
Case in point:
Exhibit 2
“It cannot be.”aka Doesn’t actually recognize Azog until he starts talking…
This needs no explanation:
*BOOM*
Exhibit 3:
Not subtitled, but Thorin shouts for Kili when actually Fili is the one who was almost crushed >.<
Exhibit 4
Not pictured because I couldn’t find a gif, but Thorin prompting Balin to lead them out of Rivendell because he “can see knows these paths”
Exhibit 5
Cut off Azog’s arm, was probably aiming for something slightly more fatal, couldn’t tell he was alive when dragged back inside Moria…
Exhibit 6
WHERE’S BILBO?
(”I have no idea because I can’t see for shit.”)
Conclusion:
Since wearing glass in front of your eyes is slightly more of a liability for a fighter than people’s faces being slightly blurry, I’m just gonna throw this out there as a possible explanation for fandom to run with 😉
Ok but I think this is my favorite post of mine that’s done well because
1) it give a humorous explanation for Thorin’s random moments of fail that’s cracky and funny
2) it actually kinda makes sense and it gives Thorin a minor (or not so minor for his life and world) disability that he works around and actually kinda explains said moments of fail realistically and honestly guys the more I think about it and replay the movies in my head the fewer contradictions I can find for this headcanon???
There is a fanfic in here somewhere
Convincing arguments!
Thorin has suddenly become more human and more pleasant (short-sighted person speaking here)
You are not wrong OP, Thorin IS nearsighted. In the book, it was even canon:
“How far away do you think it is?” asked Thorin, for by now they knew Bilbo had the sharpest eyes among them. “Not far at all. I shouldn’t think above twelve yards.” “Twelve yards! I should have thought it was thirty at least, but my eyes don’t see as well as they used a hundred years ago-” (From the chapter, ‘Flies and Spiders’
of The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien
)
Thorin isn’t just slightly nearsighted either, he thought a large object at across-the-street distance was three-quarters of the length of a football field away. By modern standards he would be legally, coke-bottle-glasses-or-we-don’t-let-you-drive, blind.
In the movie Thorin’s nearsightedness is never actually stated, but I love the clever ways in which they worked it into the acting (as avelera highlighted very well), and also into the costume and set design (implying that Dwarves tend to be nearsighted in general): Dwarven ornamentation is always three-dimensional, be it stamped leather, cut runes, thickly-embroidered brocade, or cast-metal beads. There are no purely painted or smooth-inlaid designs anywhere that would require sight, let alone 20/20 vision.
Dwarven cities too, are violently three-dimensional and ornamented with a lot of straight-lined geometry and gigantic statues. Perhaps most telling of all, the terrifyingly high stone bridges found in both Erebor AND Moria are treated as perfectly ordinary sidewalks… which would make sense for a race that couldn’t even SEE the ground below.
As for Thorin’s precision-jump in the forges…
Brass ones. Solid fucking brass ones.
When I talk my glasses off, the last two images look identical to me… just saying, I relate
I keep thinking about all the arguments revolving around movie Bard and the people of Laketown and how Thorin was ~so awful~ about not letting them in and I mean dragon sickness aside
I wouldn’t have fucking let them in either.
Not right then.
Hello, I’m a dwarf. I’ve just crossed hundreds of very perilous miles and nearly died on several occasions in order to reclaim the land of my forefathers. I am one of thirteen people on this suicide mission, including the hobbit. Now that the dragon has vacated, the lakemen would like to come in and also they want my gold.
Now what’s the important part in that synopsis?
The ‘thirteen’ bit. Disregarding how the actual talks played out, if I was one of a very small force holding a siege-proofish position, confronted by potential friendlies who could also be potential enemies who wanted me to open the door of said siege-proofish position, knowing they outnumbered me at least twenty to one if not more, I’d fuckin’ wait for backup, too.
ESPECIALLY when backup is your cousin Dain Ironfoot and the entire battle-ready force of the Iron Hills.
The Lakemen don’t mean harm, that’s true. They’re looking for a safe place to spend the winter and it’s a legitimate concern now that Smaug has sort of fallen on their houses. Past relations with the dwarves have put forth an expectation of aid, but to expect a tiny force to render that aid? Is kind of entirely unrealistic.
We can throw around ‘your fault his fault’ until the entwives come home but the math just doesn’t pan out, and fic writers know it, which is why in a lot of fic most of the aid of Laketown happens under Dain’s jurisdiction, once the dwarves have officially reclaimed erebor and have a solid cultural and military presence there again. Dain has an army. Dain has manpower and Dain has secretaries to write shit down. Thorin had a hobbit. Who, while admittedly super useful, wouldn’t have been able to organize on quite that big a scale.
(missing here is, of course, that Thorin wouldn’t have called for Dain if he didn’t think war was imminent, but this is from a logic perspective. Were Thorin not heavily stressed and faced with armed elves, I feel the conversation might have gone differently. Not by much, of course. In my perfect world Balin just knocks him unconscious and does all the talking. )
whitemanning critical 