i severely advise against using mind altering drugs to ‘relax’ your sex repulsion. weed especially heightens your senses and changes your sense of reality – not great for people prone to anxiety or paranoia. not to mention, it borders criminal behavior, because your decisionmaking skills are altered. 

you deserve to expect the best, as an ace. to begin sex, do so strictly on your terms. begin by sitting the two of you down, and saying explicitly how you feel about sex and why you want to initiate sex. ‘i want to be intimate with you, which is a big and complicated decision with me. and i want to discuss what i want to happen, and what i want to avoid.’

discussions like that – being very explicit about what will happen between the sheets – is pretty much what happens before all sex. so its not like its weird to literally go ‘so ima first bring you to completion using my halo, then you gotta oral me when im doing it, and after that we should talk about how we feel about PiV’.

also, i advise you to take premeasures to avoid/prepare for stress. sleep on this decision and examine your feelings, to avoid this being some impulse mistake. tell trusted friends your plans, so they have a hint about whats about to happen and you can turn to them if things go really south. also, sex should happen in your safe space, and not in an unfamiliar bedroom.