But what if Garrus constantly wears his visor because it corrects his vision?
Given that he’s almost entirely blind in his left eye as a result of donating his optic tissue to his sickly Mother as part of an experimental treatment to fight her disease.
So I have this headcanon, that Garrus and Shepard’s first kid is a human baby (either biologically Shepard’s or adopted or whatever). And Garrus and Shepard are both like, terrifyingly enthusiastic parents, constantly engaging their baby and dragging it with them everywhere and showing everyone pictures all the time and constantly holding conversations with it and just being generally adorable dorks.
But when their baby starts talking, Shepard notices that there’s this odd tendency for the kid to… well, screech. And make weird popping sounds. And clicking noises. And so one day Shepard is just like ‘our baby makes weird sounds’ and Garrus is like ‘oh thank god you noticed it too I wasn’t sure if it was a human thing or not’ and so they take Baby Shepard-Vakarian to get checked out.
And of course, they both know that their baby is too young for the translator implants, but they hadn’t really stopped to think about what that would mean. The implants are so ubiquitous that neither of them really considered the possible ramifications of the fact that, as far as their kid is concerned, they are both speaking two completely different languages 24/7, and it turns out that what Garrus thought were the ‘weird noises’ were the kid’s attempt at human speech, and what Shepard thought were the weird noises were the kid’s attempt at mimicking Garrus.
And well, human vocal chords aren’t really built to make the full range of turian sounds, but damn if the kid doesn’t come remarkably close. By the time Baby Shepard-Vakarian is old enough for their first translator implants, they can speak Garrus’ branch of the turian linguistic tree with a weird accent that is nevertheless shockingly intelligible.
After the war, Garrus takes up the hobby of bowling; his hands are a perfect fit for the bowling ball, it’s like they were made for it! Eventually he convinces Shepard to form a bowling team with him, Zaeed, and Jack. They name it “Calibrations”.
So why do all of these sharkarian smut fics give Garrus human-esque dangly bits? Like it’s blue and ribbed for her pleasure ™ but otherwise pretty standard dick-stuff? Like isn’t he just as likely to have a cloaca or smth? Don’t get me wrong they’re A+ quality fics but the sky is the limit, ppl
Internal, ten-inch-long, corkscrew-shaped penises, to accompany the Turian corkscrew-shaped vagina (they corkscrew in opposite directions). When aroused, pelvic plates relax and expose a cloaca orifice. The penis grows and develops yearly, reaching its peak in length during estrus. A few weeks after estrus, the penis disintegrates and falls off, and is discreetly disposed of. Both the penis and the vagina are sometimes lined with small cartilage barbs of various sizes and shapes. Estrus is yearly, accompanied by hormonal changes like darkened plates and changes in voice subharmonics.
Estrus for all Turians vary wildly. Some will experience huge spikes in their sex drive on a predictable schedule, while others might go through a few mild cycles before forgoing it for the rest of their adult years. Estrus cycles begin mid-puberty, and become less common and less intense as the Turian ages. Turians in estrus are considered under a mild stressor, so soldiers on duty will be assigned less work for a brief period of time.
A Turian’s corkscrew-shaped genitalia was the evolutionary result of primitive mating rituals, where Turians were constantly warring with each other. Modern Turian sex life is social and polyamorous. Sexual activity amongst mere acquaintances are common platonic bonding activities. Due to the time-sensitive nature of Turian penises, penetrative sex isn’t as readily available as it is for humans.
To get it on with a Turian, careful maneuvering is required to make sure the gun stays within the holster, so to speak. The Turian penis is thin, spiraled, and just not shaped for the cavernous human vagina. The Turian vagina is narrow and extends far past the human penis length. Stimulation preferences are also different across the board, making penetrative sex not optimal.
a former (human, of course) Cerberus operative who changed his name and joined C-Sec
he knew about akuze and failed to stop it
now he tries to follow the law and stop as much crime as he can in the wards
Cassandra
an asari, hear me out
she’s so fed up with her species’ tendency to never talk straight & set plans that take 100 years to work
youngest asari spectre at 150
almost 0 biotic abilities but she’ll still kick your ass
Iron Bull
a former krogan warlord who fought in the rachni wars
he’s left tuchanka because he’s tired of watching his people kill themselves
now he leads a merc band all over the galaxy
he probably takes a lot of underpaying jobs in the terminus systems and places like omega
Dorian
turian adept
he’s not fond of his species’ militarized culture
one of the few barefaced turians
his father’s in the running to be the next primarch
has his sights set on the concil
Solas
a quarian adept
sometime after his pilgrimage, he left the fleet completely
secretly in contact with the geth
he’s trying to find a way for the quarians to regain rannoch
Vivienne
an asari matriarch
she’s never had any children herself because her lover is another asari; she doesn’t want to risk having an ardat-yakshi
on the shortlist for the next council member when the current one dies
she fought a justicar once. guess who won
Cole
a salarian sniper
he was born on omega
probably did some mercenary work but got in the business of just helping people out
can’t pay the protection racket? ask cole and he’ll get them off your back. know who killed your brother? ask cole to take care of it.
Sera
a quarian infiltrator
she’s on her pilgrimage but she doesn’t really want to go back to the fleet
she doesn’t see the point in trying to get rannoch back–might as well set up on another planet not taken over by synthetics, right?
she’s set up on the citadel and knows basically everyone, so she could get a good pilgrimage gift. but she’s having more fun with her friends, helping out other people on the citadel who slip through the cracks
Varric
turian sniper
the only turian in the galaxy with a sense of humor
he’s actually a bestselling author under a human-sounding penname
he lives on omega. no one knows what he does but everyone knows him
apparently the guy who wrote Jacob Taylor is also writing Liam Kosta
did he write jacob taylor through ME3? i can’t remember. ‘cuz jacob was a perfectly good romance in ME2…just ME3 fucked the guy over.
It’s not just about his romance, it’s about the way he was written, it was no doubt racist and stereotypical. This post explains it better. The fact that the same guy is writing another black character is concerning. Jacob deserved good writing, Liam deserves good writing.
wrex is so great like all your other teammates react to you coming back with varying degrees of “what the actual fuck” and then you’ve got wrex like “MY DUDE(outta my way jackass I got a human to talk to) of COURSE you’re alive what the fuck is up”
yess!!!!! i will be getting my fine arts degree this may!!!!! finally! i shall be a student no longer!!!
but im also on major crunch time because i need to finish my 7-minute long animated short film which is about 10,200 individual frames to draw and even though its already been 2 years in the making this is the only semester ive actually been able to focus primarily on animation and not divide my attention amongst comic making and painting and so on
so ive got perhaps 1000 drawings left to do, which maybe doesnt seem like much but remember this is animation so its 1000 rough passes and then 1000 blue line editing on top of that stack and then 1000 redline followthrough editing on top of that stack and then final lining which is the worst, and then scanning it all and coloring each frame individually in photoshop, and then i paint the backgrounds and record sound effect and use afteraffects for various cinema effects
so i need everybody to be cheering me on lmao, otherwise ill Die. but mass effect; andromeda coming out this may?? literally a day before i graduate??? best
Minimum PC System Requirements for Mass Effect: Andromeda [x]
MINIMUM SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
OS: 64-bit Windows 7, Windows 8.1 and Windows 10 PROCESSOR: Intel Core i5 3570 or AMD FX-6350 MEMORY: 8 GB RAM VIDEO CARD: NVIDIA GTX 660 2GB, AMD Radeon 7850 2GB HARD DRIVE: At least 55 GB of free space DIRECTX: DirectX 11
RECOMMENDED SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
OS: 64-bit Windows 7, Windows 8.1 and Windows 10 PROCESSOR: Intel Core i7-4790 or AMD FX-8350 MEMORY: 16 GB RAM VIDEO CARD: NVIDIA GTX 1060 3GB, AMD RX 480 4GB HARD DRIVE: At least 55 GB of free space DIRECTX: DirectX 11
whitemanning critical 