kriladoodles:

suicidally-romantic-scoundrel:

I need more Mass Effect fanfics. Like, none of that romantic, action or angsty stuff, great as it is, but what I REALLY want is just an average workday on a cross-species frigate.

-Sherpard discovering that Krogan do indeed sleep on their bellies, limbs and head tucked under their shells in giant lump and getting a gigglefit about it. (I accept this lovely bit as headcanon here)

-Garrus and Tali comparing their favourite foods and making a dextro-only pizzaparty because hey why not, and most of the humans just staring at the ingredients (’are you SURE it’s supposed to look that… purple?’)

-Kaidan/Ash, Shepard and Vega drunk-arguing if turians look more like birds, lizards or bugs, Shepard being in the bird faction and promptly getting another gigglefit when Garrus walks into the mess and they try to imagine him with feathers.

-Tali getting a mild heart seizure and diving for cover when Adams gets a sneeze attack because she thought something exploded (”Yes of course Quarians sneeze too, but why are you humans so LOUD about it? Kelaah.”)

-Liara watching with great interest how Shepard brushes her hair and on their girls night Shepard shows her and Tali how to braid it – she needs two days to comb out the resulting knots (I know Quarians are supposed to have hair, but our only source is that picture of Tali which is just a photoshopped stock model, so I am kind of ignoring canon there)

-Garrus walking in on Vega/Kaidan/Shepard with a face full of shaving cream in the bathroom and he absolutely looses it for some reason

-Vega walking in on Garrus swallowing a handfull of PEBBLES and just stares while Garrus shruggs and continues to eat stones (”I guess humans don’t have gizzards, then? Trust me, it’s a pain in the ass”)

-tbc

Honestly, give me that. No drama. No action. Just – aliens. Figuring each other out. While giggling.

*Zaeed voice* Back for more?

[Actually since we’re at Zaeed, I always had the suspicion that he was Shepard’s father, at least for the earthborn background. He recognized them the second he saw the vids of Torfan/Akuze/Elysium or at least had his suspicions and allthough he couldn’t do anything (You don’t walk up to a just-turned-Alliance-Legend with the words ‘I might be your father) he kept careful tabs on his son/daughter. But when Shepard is presumed KIA and then turns up with Cerberus later and is hiring, Zaeed takes the job, not as much as for his own retirement (I mean, read the Shadow Broker dossiers, he cares, but not exactly much) but to make sure his kid doesn’t die on a suicide mission. Again. And he never finds the guts to tell them.]

So, now that I got that angsty bit off my chest:

There’s a lot of water on Rannoch and Quarians actually used to be amazing swimmers by instinct. It’s not common knowledge anymore, since after centuries of living in the migrant fleet, the option was lost to most of them.
Tali surprises the crew (and herself, mostly) one day, when she accidentally falls into the presidium lakes on shore leave and instinctively paddles faster  around an out than Shepard can jump after her. Liara thanks the Goddess for sealed off enviro-suits. Garrus is secretly jealous.

Swimming lessons for Garrus. (There’s a LI fanfic for that in the archive, actually, but I need MOAR)

Against his own better judgement, Joker sends Thane an AC/DC Album labeled as a ‘human classical music’. The prank sort of backfires though, when Thane actually starts to like it. Shepard nearly keels over with laughter when they walk in on him, absently nodding his head to “Dirty Deeds done Dirt Cheap”. Thane just smiles and shrugs it off.
(“The instruments and rhythm are a little off, but the voices are very rough, they remind me of my own people. Could you perhaps convey my thanks to Joker if you are on your way to the bridge?”
…
– ”You mean he LIKED it?”
– “You tried to prank our resident master assassin with two hundred year old hard rock?”
– “Well, when you put it THAT way Commander… wait. Shit. I got off lucky, didn’t I?”
– “Yup.”)

One time while stuck groundside in a human system Vega finds an old frisbie and challenges Garrus and Shepard to a game. Needless to say, Garrus absolutely destroys them. Nobody outruns a turian, especially not a competitive one.

Although Ashley starts off with a lot of distrust for aliens, her sisterly instincts kick in when she hears that Tali gets homesick, and she goes off to help. There are piggyback rides involved, no one but Adams knows.

Legion bonding with Garrus over sniper rifle mods.

Vega gets his revenge for the frisbie incident while the Normandy has to go through maintenance on an ice planet and the entire team gets some free  shore time. Cue snowball fight.
In the end nobody knows who started it (Shepard started it) but suddenly snow is everywhere and Vega gets a few good hits on Garrus until… -”DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE, L2, BIOTICS DON’T COUNMPF!”

On a sidenote, Edi is a terrific shot with her bare hands.

Liara, Garrus and Tali do however gather around when Shepard starts building a snowman.
(The base temperature of Earth (23°C) is actually much lower than that of Palaven (31°C) , Thessia (25°C) and Rannoch (48°C), nevermind that Tali grew up on a spaceship, so I’d guess snow as a fun activity is actually not very common among other species)
Though once Kaidan – embracing his inner Canadian – starts explaining, with some help from Edi, the others pick up quickly. Soon, the entire crew helps, Traynor even donates some broken cables, tubes and circuitry for decoration.
It’s the biggest, most ugly snowman the galaxy has ever seen, but still, they name it Steven and take pictures, which Shepard prints out and hangs up around the mess hall.

It’s already canon that Liara has an interest for accents and one evening she gets a hold on Donelly in the loungeand they compare accents over whiskey. Turns out, Liara herself can speak an asari dialect that not a single translator in the room can fully pick up. What it does catch, it translates into polish.

Due to Turian dual vocal chords and a lack of lips, their untranslated voices sound like very melodic and slightly metallic pterodactyl screeches. Shepard is reminded of that the hard way during a 3am trip to the mess while, of all people, Primarch Victus has the same idea, both of them fresh out of bed with their translators offline. It ends with two very sleepy aliens being very confused for a few very long minutes.

Jurassic Park marathons with Grunt.

maxxiedemon:

alanacshepard:

spacedivaas:

As much as I love fluffy stories where Shepard cares for Kaidan when he has migraines there are a few things that I’d like to address

•Massages are not always good when it comes to migraines. Adding more pressure to the head/ neck can make migraines worse

•same with Yoga

•If you ever start singing for someone with migraines they will kill you

•Migraines often involve vomiting so you might want to address that in your fics

•You don’t take migraine medicine, take a nap and magically feel better after waking up. Migraines can and will knock you out for days and sleeping does not always make it better

•Some people who suffer from chronic migraines don’t get surprised by an attack, you usually can feel it creeping up upon you

•Taking a hot bath is not always beneficial because hot water > faster heart beat > more pressure in the head

•also they could collapse which is extremely dangerous especially when they’re still in the bathroom

as @vorchagirl already said: migraines aren’t a cutesy trope for fluffy fanfictions, but if you still want to write about it, do your research because migraines aren’t just “strong headaches”

Need to look up after care for migraines too because it’s good to none and I’ve been thinking about these exact topics recently.

Also just wanted to add that all of the above is usually pretty helpful if your migraine is due to it being tension-related (which is extremely common, but not the only reason to why someone will have a migraine!)

In Kaidan’s case however, it is probably better to just leave him a dark room with as little noise as possible. And a bottle of water.